


George Oscar Bluth Helps His Niece and Nephew Skip School

by buddyhollybenhur



Series: the bluth family is trying their best [1]
Category: Arrested Development
Genre: Family, Family Fluff, Family Shenanigans, Other, i just want more happy bluth family content and it looks like im the one who has to write it, uncle gob bluth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:14:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24256456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buddyhollybenhur/pseuds/buddyhollybenhur
Summary: George Michael is sick, and his dad isn't answering the phone, so he calls his uncle. Then they decide that it's not fair for just George Michael to get a day off so they get Maeby out of class too.
Relationships: Byron "Buster" Bluth & George Oscar "Gob" Bluth, George Michael Bluth & George Oscar "Gob" Bluth, George Michael Bluth & Maeby Funke, Maeby Funke & George Oscar "Gob" Bluth
Series: the bluth family is trying their best [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1751236
Comments: 8
Kudos: 22





	George Oscar Bluth Helps His Niece and Nephew Skip School

Gob has the model home to himself this morning, so he’s going absolutely off the rails crazy- sitting on the counter in his kimono robe and boxers, eating cold microwave popcorn for breakfast. 

It’s peaceful in a way until the phone on the wall rings and he bounces off the counter onto the cold linoleum to answer. 

“Bluth,” he says, mouth full of cold corn. 

“Uncle Gob?” a weak little voice says. “It’s your nephew George Michael. You know-”

“I know who you are, George Michael,” Gob sighs. “Why aren’t you in class?” It’s, like, nine am on a Tuesday. Gob watched him leave the house with Maeby skipping along next to him. 

“I have a stomachache and Dad isn’t answering his cell phone, and nobody’s picking up at the office.” That can be easily explained- A few minutes after the kids left, Gob watched his brother get a phone call that the power at the Bluth company is out and there may have been a break-in, and then sprint out of the house dragging his sister along to survey the damage. Michael’s phone is next to Gob on the counter, dead as a doornail. 

He explains this to George Michael, listening awkwardly to the sound of breathing on the other line, and then his nephew says quietly “Well, when will you be here?”

“Hmm?”

“To pick me up, or to bring me medicine?” George Michael says, kind of impatient but mostly just tired. 

“Oh! Yeah, um, I gotta get… my keys and stuff, I’ll be there thirty minutes tops and pick you up. Fair warning, I have errands to run, so you can come along or I can drop you off at the model home-”

“I’ll just come with you.” He sounds less sick, and Gob hangs up and runs upstairs to find clothes and the keys to his dad’s car. 

Thirty-two minutes later, he’s walking into the office of Balboa High School, where George Michael is leaning against his hand in a chair in the lobby. He sits up straighter and looks relieved when Gob walks in, and it kind of warms his heart that he’s the one George Michael called after his dad and he’s the one to come get him. 

“George Oscar Bluth to pick up George Michael?” he says to the lady at the desk. Then, he has a sudden idea. “Also, can you call Maeby Funke? I’ll pull her out too.” 

The lady clearly has no idea who he’s talking about until George Michael leans towards her a bit and says “Maeby  _ Bluth _ ,” adding to Gob “She changed her last name a while ago.”

“Voluntarily being a Bluth? Is she crazy?” Gob laughs a little bit, but a something crosses his nephew’s face. 

“I like being a Bluth,” he says quietly, and then Maeby barrels into the office. There’s a look on her face that Gob recognizes from his own childhood- fear and worry, poorly disguised behind a mask of not caring- but she sees Gib and her face melts back into its usual demeanor. 

“Oh, my Uncle Gob, not Uncle Michael,” she says with a sigh. “I was worried something was wrong.”

Gob grins. “Nope, I was getting George Michael and figured I’d grab you too. C’mon.” he signs them both out and they all walk into the sunshine to the car. 

Maeby calls shotgun and George Michael barely protests, slumping in the backseat. Gob has no clue about childcare- teen care? They’re both fourteen now- but he knows that the kid is sick, so they drive to a drugstore before anything else. 

“Can I get something?” Maeby asks. Gob doesn’t think before saying yes, she can, you too George Michael. She drags him over towards the candy aisle, and Gob awkwardly paces in front of medicine until an older lady approaches him. 

“Need some help, son?” she asks. She doesn’t even work there, and Gob could very easily tell her he’s fine but then he thinks of Michael’s face when he realizes Gob gave his son the wrong medicine  _ and  _ pulled him out of school for the day. 

“Yes, please. My-” what does he say? “My kid, there,” he gestures to the kids in the next aisle over, Maeby deliberating over two chocolate bars while George Michael holds some peanut brittle, “He has a stomachache and he looks pretty tired, what do I give him?”

“Ah, watching the kids for the day,” the lady nods. “Get some of this, check the dosages on the label. Good luck!” She gives him another smile and resumes her shopping. Gob whispers a “thank you” and drags Maeby and George Michael to the register to pay. 

In the car, he twists around to peer at the kid as he measures out a dose of medicine. 

“Do you know what you’re doing?” his nephew asks nervously. 

“I used to help Lupe and Rosa take care of Buster,” he replies.”Mom was busy with… everything, and no offense but your parents were boring teenagers, so I would go hang out with baby Buster.”

“What was my mom like as a teenager?” Maeby asks, suddenly interested. 

Gob hands George Michael a little cup of gross medicine and buckles in. “She was super competitive with everyone… we used to go to the country club for dinner every week, and we would go at the same time as the Sitwells, and she’d make me help her pick out the perfect dress to outshine Sally.” Gob does not add that he always thought Lindsay did, in fact, outshine Sally Sitwell on Tuesday nights at the country club. “Also, when we were sixteen or whatever she met your dad- same time Michael started to date Tracey- and she would bring him to dinner and stuff just to see Dad- sorry, Pop-Pop- get angry.” Maeby grins at this. 

“What about my dad and my mom?” George Michael asks, sitting up a bit more and leaning his forehead on the car window. 

“They were always over at the penthouse, honestly. I liked your mom,” Gob adds, looking in the mirror at his nephew. “But, um, Tracey was always invited to dinner or parties or whatever, and your dad was seriously in love with her. Even when they were married you could tell he kind of had a crush on her. But he was also an incredible stick-in-the-mud who would wear ties to Tuesday dinners and tell me to knock it off like he was a teacher or a parent. And obviously, Buster was seven years younger than me so I would bring him all over town. I used to ride my bike over to the yacht and read or do illusions or whatever all day, and he’d come with me. Michael gave him free bananas from the banana stand when we were down there but he made me pay.”

The cousins smile, and so does Gob, as they all pull in to the mall parking lot. 

“Ooh! The mall!” Maeby grins. “What’re we getting, Uncle Gob?”

“My dry-cleaning, and some mice, and a dove, and whatever’s on sale at the magic store. However, I need one of you to go into the pet shop because I’m banned for life.”

“Cool!” she says, and George Michael looks sort of alarmed. 

When they cross the parking lot, Gob reaches over to grab their hands- the same way he used to with Lindsay and Michael, come to think of it- and they head into the mall. 

They go to the pet shop first. “Okay, I need two doves and as many mice as this-” he shoves all of his cash into Maeby’s hands, and gives the company credit card to George Michael- “can buy. Got it?” They nod and he lurks behind a plant, watching as his niece negotiates the sale of twenty mice and George Michael handles the birds with some uncertainty. It takes maybe twenty minutes, and just as Gob is wondering what the hell is taking them so long, they emerge triumphantly. 

“Mice and birds, Uncle Gob!” Maeby beams. She hands the box to him and he can hear the scuttling of the rodents inside. He grabs the birdcage with his other hand, and George Michael looks relieved to be rid of them. 

Next, at Maeby’s insistence, they go to a jewelry store, where she browses over expensive necklaces and bracelets that are far too delicate and understated for his mother or Lindsay. George Michael peers over his cousin’s shoulder, asking questions like “What kind of stone is that?” and “Do you think the silver or the gold is better?” until the attendant pointedly tells them to buy something or get out. George Michael detours at a men’s clothing store to look at some ties and wonders out loud if he sounds get one for his dad for Michael’s birthday, which is coming up, until Maeby reminds him they don't have money on them. Gob promises to bring them both back to shop for their parents’ birthdays. 

The kids love the magic store. Gob buys trick cards, some new scarves, and then Maeby helps him pick out a new jacket with no less than fifteen hidden pockets while George Michael picks up and examines the linking rings and boxes with hidden compartments. Gob breaks the Magicians Code and tells them exactly how everything works, under the disapproving glare of the shop’s owner. They talk him into buying them a deck of trick cards that they fuss over on the way to checkout and he beams with pride when the cashier tells him “Your kids are magicians like their dad.”

“He’s our uncle. My dad doesn’t like magic,” George Michael pipes up. 

“Cool uncle,” the cashier replies, and they all three nod in agreement. 

Gob stops them at the food court so George Michael can rest (he insists he’s feeling better, though) and Maeby inspects her trick cards while George Michael sips at a ginger ale and Gob puts on his new jacket and loads it up with the newly-bought illusions. 

“Uncle Gob, can we get some lunch?” Maeby asks politely. Gob is about to say yes, but then he remembers that it’s Tuesday and he has the company credit card. 

“You kids ever been to the country club for lunch?” he asks, and the cousins look at each other with excitement. 

On the way home, they get the dry-cleaning. Lindsay’s nicest dress for the upcoming charity auction, and one of Michael’s suits that he spilled wine all over, and several flashy brocade vests belonging to Gob, and Buster’s wool sweater. George Michael volunteers to carry it all to the car, settling it in the backseat next to Maeby (who gives shotgun up after a brief fight). 

Michael calls when they’re halfway to the country club. Gob answers and mouths for the kids to be quiet. 

“Hey, Mikey.”

“Gob. Just wanted to let you know that we have power back on in my office, and we had a missed call from my son, so I was wondering if you knew anything about that-”

“I picked him up from school early. He wasn't feeling well, so we’re… we stopped by to get some medicine from Mom… and now we’re just at home. He’s fine so you have no need to come check on him.”

“Can I talk to him?”

“Uh… yeah, sure?” Gob hands the phone to his nephew and keeps on driving. 

George Michael has a conversation that consists mostly of “Yeah… yep… I’ll tell him… yeah… bye… okay… got it… bye… love you too, Dad,” and then he hands the phone back to Gob and tells him seriously, “Dad says thanks for getting me. Also, let me rest, and Aunt Lindsay needs you to pick Maeby up after school because she’s busy at the office and Uncle Tobias is with Carl on auditions all day today.”

Maeby laughs in the backseat, and they pull into their parking spot at the country club. Gob remembers the dress code just in time, and he tosses his old jacket to George Michael to put on over his ridiculous button-up shirt. Maeby looks decent, he decides, but he tells her to put her hair up or something and the three of them walk into the country club, praying that Lucille isn’t there. 

She isn’t, and they get let in easily, and it’s only once they’re seated at a table by the window and the kids are perusing the menu that Gob scopes out the area. Lucille Austero is there, across the room, but she doesn’t notice them. He also thinks he sees Stan Sitwell- sans Sally- doing some sort of business lunch, but there’s no way he’ll try to chat with them. 

“What do we order?” George Michael asks. Right- Michael hates the country club and never used the family membership, and Lindsay’s been in Boston. 

“I like the chips and guacamole,” Gob offers. “And I know Buster always gets the Reuben when Mom brings him. The club sandwich, though, was always Lindsay’s favorite.” Maeby ends up getting the Reuben. George Michael orders a burger, and Gob decides to shake things up and get a steak. A company credit card was a blessing. 

They’re crunching down on their chips and guac and Maeby is sipping a virgin cocktail when a shadow falls over the table. Like he’s in a movie, Gob looks up and sees Emmett Bradford II, who is smiling pleasantly. Gob would like, very much, to punch him. 

“Gob Bluth!” Emmett says, pronouncing Gob’s name with a hard G. “Thought that was you and your kids!”

“Not my kids,” Gob says with the fakest of fake smiles. Maeby has caught on- she really is a fantastic kid- and she’s glaring at Emmett too. George Michael is smiling politely, and Michael really needs to teach his son fewer manners. “This is my niece and nephew.”

Emmett sits down in their empty chair. “Well, young lady, you are just the spitting image of Michael and Tracey. Really.”

Maeby is supremely unimpressed. “Really? Because I’m Lindsay’s daughter, Maeby. Nice to meet you.”

“I- I’m Michael’s son,” George Michael supplies unhelpfully. “George Michael.”

Emmett looks kind of embarrassed, but he manages to breeze past it. “Oh, your mom married that ga- guy, moved to Boston, right? Are you visiting your uncle for a week or so?”

“Maeby’s lived here for six months with her mom and dad,” Gob says. “All of us Bluths have been living around here. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re meeting Buster here in a few minutes.” Emmett gets the hint and leaves for his own table. 

“Is Uncle Buster meeting us?” Maeby asks, slurping her drink. 

“No.”

“Who was that?” George Michael asks. “A friend of yours?”

“God, no,” Gob says through a mouthful of food. “When we were kids, Michael had no friends and Lindsay had a bunch of followers, and I had a group of kids my age who were the sons of all the rich people in the area, and we called each other friends but we actually all hated each other. Emmett was one of them.”

“Oh.” Maeby sounds like she feels bad for him and she might say something more, but their lunch comes. They eat sandwiches and burgers and make fun of the golfers they can see out the window for an hour or so, and then Gob lets them get a piece of cake to split. 

“Uncle Gob, my dad says we shouldn’t use the company credit card this much-” George Michael says nervously when Gob pays. 

“Michael lets us use it sometimes,” Gob interrupts. “It’s fine! Now, should we-” Just then his phone rings, and it’s his mother. “Oh.”

“GOB?!” she says shrilly as soon as he picks up his phone. “Your brother is driving me crazy.”

“Mom-”

“Come pick him up and take him to the house, Gob, I cannot spend another minute in the apartment with him-” In the background, Gob hears Buster yell something inaudible.

“I’ll be there soon.” Hanging up, he turns to the kids fighting over the last bite of cake. He spears it with his fork, swallows it, and then says “Turns out Buster is joining us after all.”

George Michael and Maeby don’t seem to care about the addition to their party, but Buster is sitting on the steps outside Balboa Towers with a bag when they pull up. 

“Busty!” Gob calls. “Come on, you’re back at the model home.”

“Hey, brother. Hey, niece, hey, nephew,” Buster says when he hops in the passenger seat and George Michael crawls back to sit next to Maeby. “Wait… you guys are supposed to be in school.” A grin grows across his face. “Are you guys playing  _ hooky  _ ?”

The kids look worried, but Gob raises his eyebrows. “Yeah, I got them early. George Michael wasn't feeling well, and it wasn’t fair to Maeby to let him get a day off and not her.” Buster was always the coolest when they were kids, surprisingly- he’d let Gob illegally drive the yacht, or cheat on online exams, or whatever, as long as he was included in the fun. 

“What did you guys do?” Buster asks, turning around to face them. The cousins’ voices overlap as they recount the day at the mall, the lunch, the chocolate cake that Buster agreed was the best dessert in the case and the magic tricks. Finally, an hour before school ended, they pulled into the model home’s driveway. 

Gob draped the dry-cleaning over everyone’s individual beds, the kids helped him hide his animals under his bed, and Buster set himself up in Michael’s room, which Michael would undoubtedly be less than happy about. 

Finally, while the four of then watched TV in the living room, the rest of the Bluths came trickling in the door. Tobias was first, angrily storming up to the bathroom. They heard the shower run and poorly hidden crying, which they all decided not to acknowledge. Lucille wandered in the door to pointedly ignore Buster and lecture Gob on the messiness of the dining room, the ugly paint on the walls, and the lack of good alcohol in the house while she rifled through the cabinets and settled herself in a chair in the living room. Lindsay floated through the door after a day of hard work to kiss Maeby’s forehead and say hello to her brothers and nephew, then sigh at Tobias and glare at her mother before heading upstairs to pretend she wasn't having marital problems. Michael was last, an hour later, and he threw his suit jacket at the chair where it landed on his mother. Then he leaned on the doorframe and argued with her for a while before sighing and going upstairs to shower. 

Funnily enough, the Bluths have a Tuesday night family dinner that night. They eat outside because the dining room table was set with a fake turkey and fake dishes and silverware, and Lucille stays and barely criticizes the Chinese takeout food they ordered.

“Well, it isn’t the country club dinners we used to have,” Lucille sighs and Gob looks over at the kids (who are laying together on the patio and splitting their food in half to share) with a wink and a smile. 

“Feeling better, George Michael?” Michael asks his son. “I know Uncle Gob took you home this morning.”

George Michael swallows some rice. “Yeah. Uh, we just kinda… hung around the house.”

“Luck-y!” Maeby protests. “I wanna get a day off to hang around with Uncle Gob!” She is a much better liar than her cousin. 

“Yep, we watched some TV and then picked up Buster and Maeby, got the dry-cleaning,” Gob says nonchalantly. 

“Well.” Michael seems impressed. “Good for you. You up to school tomorrow, buddy?” George Michael nodded. “Alrighty.”

That night, Gob was watching TV when Michael came downstairs in his ridiculous buttoned pajamas. “Gob?” he said hesitantly. 

“Yeah, Mikey, what’s up?”

“Just, um, I’m heading to bed. The kids are asleep, Lindsay and Tobias are in for the night.”

Gob raised one eyebrow. “Okay? Goodnight?”

“Okay. Goodnight.” Michael turned to go up the stairs, then creased his eyebrows and faced Gob again. “Uh- thanks, Gob.”

“For what…?”

“I dunno. You came and picked George Michael up and got him medicine when he was sick when I couldn’t, and then you got Maeby when Lindsay couldn’t. So thanks.”

“Oh. You’re welcome, Michael.”

Michael looked as uncomfortable as Gob felt- wow, they really needed to get better at expressing their emotions in this family. “Okay. Well. Goodnight.”

“‘Night, Michael.”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on an ad kick so lmk in the comments what bluth family shananigans you want me to write (seasons 1-3 please and thank you)


End file.
